Saturday, August 27, 2011

a higher lesson.

Yesterday, I finished filling the journal I've written in for quite some time now. Kind of a momentous occasion. I don't free write near as often as I'd like, but the stuff I do have from the past few years is so special. I love looking back and seeing the way God has changed me and answered my seeking heart. But, sometimes I just feel like I've gone full circle and I'm back where I was, with a heavy heart and regrets.

Just opened up to this entry, well this is part of it. Often my journal entries evolve into prayers. How relevant this is in my life now…


June 7th 2008

You and only you know my heart, my deepest secrets. Creator of my inmost being; lover of my soul. Life is nothing without you, God- what joy can come after I've tasted you? What joy besides yours, my king?

Psalm 51
              v. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 
              v.12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. 

What joy indeed? None. The ongoing lesson of true satisfaction being found in him only, continues. 
*sigh* Am I the only one who deals with this? Surely not…. hopefully. 
He is faithful. 



  1. You're definitely not the only one who deals with the struggle of other loves/lovers. I constantly hear their call or notice that I've listened to it. I love that He is always waiting and ready for me to return, even after I've gone and tried something He knew I would find to be utterly empty. So hard to fathom, how He can do so.

  2. this post reminded me of this song.

  3. I wish I had more time to read my friends blogs, I love to share and share in the parts of ourselves we just need to release. Thank you for sharing =D (this is my missionary blog, that's why it's a different username. Same Leon though)