a higher lesson.

Yesterday, I finished filling the journal I've written in for quite some time now. Kind of a momentous occasion. I don't free write near as often as I'd like, but the stuff I do have from the past few years is so special. I love looking back and seeing the way God has changed me and answered my seeking heart. But, sometimes I just feel like I've gone full circle and I'm back where I was, with a heavy heart and regrets.

Just opened up to this entry, well this is part of it. Often my journal entries evolve into prayers. How relevant this is in my life now…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 7th 2008

You and only you know my heart, my deepest secrets. Creator of my inmost being; lover of my soul. Life is nothing without you, God- what joy can come after I've tasted you? What joy besides yours, my king?

Psalm 51

              v. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 

              v.12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What joy indeed? None. The ongoing lesson of true satisfaction being found in him only, continues. 

*sigh* Am I the only one who deals with this? Surely not…. hopefully. 

He is faithful. 

-j

Windy Words.

Lana and I went to Boone to visit our incredible Grandparents and Aunt and Uncle and cousins. Then we came to the appropriately named windy city, Chicago. Just for fun. The great thing about having a sister like Lana is that we're so similar, so when it comes to traveling, and adventuring we are pretty great. ha.

I've been to a lot of cities in my twenty years and I've been to Chicago twice before, also. (Well, if you count O'hare, I've been here many times… but that's irrelevant…)
In big cities, there is a lot for the senses. Lots of good, pretty, pleasant, and new things. But there are also plenty of ugly, dirty, sad, scary things as well. I continue to struggle with the 'homeless' dilemma. But perhaps that's for another time. When I'm placed in the midst of large amounts of people, (and in small amounts or more dispersed crowds- it just hits me harder with the masses) I can't help but wonder about individuals… wonder about their pasts, their wounds, their hearts. I hate thinking about the hurt and pain in their lives. I hate thinking that so many people don't know Jesus. Don't know how much they're worth. Don't know the truth. Don't have joy and security in Salvation. So as much as I enjoy visiting cities and traveling, I also feel burdened.

Now that I've got you all somber and thoughtful, I'll share a few photos of the trip.

We're heading home today. Which means, returning to work, reality, normal life.

I'm always peppered with a mixture of feelings upon the return from an adventure away from home.

A couple more things first…
We've spent some time in Starbucks here, too. Apparently, the toilets are just as loud here, but the people are also just as friendly. So all is well with that.

My friend, Zach was in Chicago at the same time as me, attending a geek, comic convention- we were even a few blocks away from each other at one point, but we never were able to meet up. I was sad about that, but life happens, I guess.

 

Yes, that's the amazing Misty May Treanor! :)

Live today.

-j

love everlasting.

How can you love me? I am unfaithful.

How can you care for me? I have turned from you. 

How can you see me? I am invisible. 

How can you help me? I am unwilling.

How can you keep me? I run away.

How can you treasure me? I am flawed.

How can you use me? I am inadequate.

How can you want me? I am dirty.

How can you rescue me? I am lost.

And yet, you do.

Your love astounds me.

I am broken. But, I am yours.

Photo Credit: Lana Jensen

Social Media for a higher purpose?… and some typical nonsense.

Hello there.
I've been thinking… 'A dangerous pastime, I know.' Name that show?
Okay, I'm getting super distracted by the music I'm listening to. I have a hard time multi-tasking sometimes. I also have to use extra restraint to keep myself still when I'm sitting in Starbucks, listening to lively music that only I can hear.

Back to thinking…

How much time do we spend social networking? I mean really, let's be honest… how many hours a day? minutes a day? days a week? I think it's safe to say that, well- I'll just make this about my own life- I waste way too much time on Facebook, which is my social media website of choice, currently. Oh, yes. I was a tweeter once, but out of good intending, self will, I ended that. What a sacrifice. (I'm completely mocking myself, if you weren't with me there.)

So we've established that plenty of time is passed online doing not-so-important things. What if we-- excuse me-- I, what if I spent more of that time learning, educating myself, and sharing information about real life- issues, topics, current events, truth. I've been challenged with this idea recently and would really like to act on it more regularly than I have in the past. I mean, with Facebook, or any social networking site, we really have a huge opportunity to get information or ideas out there to get people thinking. I'm seeing how many chances I miss, simply because I'm too busy living in my own little world where everything I see and do goes through the tunnel of 'how does/will this affect me?'

Just like in real life, I don't want to miss opportunities to share truth and life with other people. And on Facebook, that could be through posting facts about abortion, opportunities for serving, encouragement through words… etc.
I want to be bold for what I believe and take a stand for truth. I want to be a leader in the places I am. Facebook and Blogspot are where I am very often. Why should I be a lukewarm, quiet crowd member when I have been given the gift of life, with a purpose to share the truth and be a spark of hope in a dark world… in this case, a cyber-world.

Does any of this resonate with you?
Let's talk about it.

Also, I'm hoping to be posting much more consistently on here and on my website blog- theblueroom

<3
J