Ok, so I guess I've had writer's block, actually, it's more like the opposite of that. So much happens in life and I think about so much and have so many random ideas and dreams and hopes that I don't even know where to start... so lately I've just put off writing. Lame, I know.
This post will most likely consist of nothing in particular. Just random bits of me coming out in text form.
One thing I love is the faithfulness of God. He is always and will always be there. This is a wonderful thing, people.
Recently He showed me that Love is sooooo much stronger than other emotions, like hate, bitterness, anger... yeah that was an incredible realization and very personal in my case. My advice to you, life is too short to be stupid and hold stuff against people. Love really does conquer all. I am so thankful for the times that God shows me in my life how sayings and verses and ideas are really real, not just stuff I know in my head. When they really come alive to me, ahhhh yes that is such a blessing.
So much more has happend in my life so, hopefully, I'll write again soon, with better clarity and reason, but for now, as I have only 5 minutes left on "AARON #50" at the library, I should go.
J
here is a nice song to fit the mood...
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A tribute to reading, the nineteenth century, and Charlotte Bronte...
I have just realized (as I am in one now) that I go through passionate phases in which I wish things different than they are, or perhaps I just really enjoy a particular subject or situation and wish to be enlightened or a part of it. A magnificent, yet horrifying discovery I made just yesterday is this: I was not made to live and exist in the twenty first century, but rather in the nineteenth! And what a somber realization this was. I shall suffer much from the fact that I surely cannot change the time period designated to me, though I am also quite sure that after much consideration and practical thinking I would not want to anyway- which does give me considerable consolation. The reason for my strange and sudden desire for change comes from excessive reading (a task I see as very necessary for any girl's cultivation; a view I share with a rather well known Mr. Darcy, I believe.) There is one novel in particular which is to blame for my present state however(though I daresay, many have the power to overtake me!) which I have been engulfed, rather drowned in, these past couple of days and even so this very day!
Jane Eyre.
The detailed and intense manner in which the passion and depth of each character and situation is captured and communicated amazes me! Not only could I never hope to find the words to express such a deep emotion, I daresay I could hardly recognize it, let alone translate it! I feel as though the very beings, the very surroundings, the very sounds; voices are alive and being played out in front of me as I read. I am a fellow student at Lowood, a majestic guest at Thornfield, and now perhaps a pupil in the Morton Girl's School. How real it all seems! I am right there feeling, experiencing it all. So then when I put the book down, I cannot help but long for the beautiful scenery, the refined people, and the elaborate language of that time.
I'm reminded of a piece from the movie Ever After:
Henry: How do you do it?
Danielle: What?
Henry: Live each day with this kind of passion. Don't you find it exhausting?
That is precisely my question for Miss Jane Eyre, rather Miss Charlotte Bronte: inventor of Miss Jane Erye, though I suppose my question would be worded a bit differently changing to fit the scheme of writing. The depth of character, and engagement of her words quite astound and delight me! I assure you, she has my utmost admiration and respect.
Though I do suppose, reader, that unless you have read wonderful works of literature as this one, and are as stimulated by them as I, (my dear sister being very much in this category, for it was her who encouraged and inspired me to read this very novel, Jane Erye and her who set the standard so high in my mind; which in actually reading the book, it has quite exceeded my expectations!) you must find all of this mere nonsense and a waste of time. If this be the case, I must apologize for my way of rambling on so. And do let me stop you promptly for I fear the rest of this post is in quite the same fashion and will not suit your boring disposition. But let me leave you with a favorite quote of mine...
The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
-Jane Austen
Now I will continue my thoughts...
Reading. My father told me that reading was the best way to learn, which I love. I agree, and shall continue to follow that advice for the rest of my life. And now I must highly encourage you to do the same.
Along with Miss Bronte, some other sensational, classic, female authors who I have highly benefited from and recommend, include Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, Gene Stratton-Porter etc. etc.
And now I must thank you for enduring my thoughts and indulging my aspirations by reading my observations on the subjects I have written. I really would love to hear your thoughts on any and/or all of these subjects. I hope there are people out there somewhere that share my joy in reading a good book!
For the present I am not a resident of this year, nor this life... rather I am far in the past reliving the days of a certain Jane Erye... and who knows where future stories may take me... the possibilities are endless.
Jane Eyre.
The detailed and intense manner in which the passion and depth of each character and situation is captured and communicated amazes me! Not only could I never hope to find the words to express such a deep emotion, I daresay I could hardly recognize it, let alone translate it! I feel as though the very beings, the very surroundings, the very sounds; voices are alive and being played out in front of me as I read. I am a fellow student at Lowood, a majestic guest at Thornfield, and now perhaps a pupil in the Morton Girl's School. How real it all seems! I am right there feeling, experiencing it all. So then when I put the book down, I cannot help but long for the beautiful scenery, the refined people, and the elaborate language of that time.
I'm reminded of a piece from the movie Ever After:
Henry: How do you do it?
Danielle: What?
Henry: Live each day with this kind of passion. Don't you find it exhausting?
That is precisely my question for Miss Jane Eyre, rather Miss Charlotte Bronte: inventor of Miss Jane Erye, though I suppose my question would be worded a bit differently changing to fit the scheme of writing. The depth of character, and engagement of her words quite astound and delight me! I assure you, she has my utmost admiration and respect.
Though I do suppose, reader, that unless you have read wonderful works of literature as this one, and are as stimulated by them as I, (my dear sister being very much in this category, for it was her who encouraged and inspired me to read this very novel, Jane Erye and her who set the standard so high in my mind; which in actually reading the book, it has quite exceeded my expectations!) you must find all of this mere nonsense and a waste of time. If this be the case, I must apologize for my way of rambling on so. And do let me stop you promptly for I fear the rest of this post is in quite the same fashion and will not suit your boring disposition. But let me leave you with a favorite quote of mine...
The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
-Jane Austen
Now I will continue my thoughts...
Reading. My father told me that reading was the best way to learn, which I love. I agree, and shall continue to follow that advice for the rest of my life. And now I must highly encourage you to do the same.
Along with Miss Bronte, some other sensational, classic, female authors who I have highly benefited from and recommend, include Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, Gene Stratton-Porter etc. etc.
And now I must thank you for enduring my thoughts and indulging my aspirations by reading my observations on the subjects I have written. I really would love to hear your thoughts on any and/or all of these subjects. I hope there are people out there somewhere that share my joy in reading a good book!
For the present I am not a resident of this year, nor this life... rather I am far in the past reliving the days of a certain Jane Erye... and who knows where future stories may take me... the possibilities are endless.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Rain, solitude, and the overwhelming.
Life is full. Full of hope, adventure, love... but also pain, disappointment, and stress.
A lot has been going on in mine as of late (my new favorite phrase, by the way.)
Instead of telling you all of the things going on, I will tell you what I have learned because of them...
Parents are something not to be taken for granted. I've been without mine for only a little over and week and I still have a couple more to go- I have too often needed a "mom hug" or a piece of advice from Dad.
Family (cousins, in particular) are just wonderful. My cousin Chelsie came to visit from AZ for a week and I realized once again how blessed I am to have such lifelong friends in my cousins. Did that make sense?
God is in control. I had a really weird, horrible pain in my side for a few days (hopefully it's gone for good now) and it was not pleasant one bit. I love knowing that my creator God knows exactly what's going on though different doctors tell me different things.
Material things don't matter!! Now this, friends was a hard one to get over. I accidentally formatted my memory card that had all of my Alaska pictures on it and no they were not saved anywhere else. Though there may be a miraculous way to recover them (haven't tried yet,) I've pretty much resigned to the fact they are gone. Sad, but okay because they are just photos; mere reflections of the amazing experiences I had.
Change happens- People change. The weather changes. Gasoline prices change. It all happens whether we think it sucks really bad or not.
This most certainly does not encapsulate the last week, but it gives you an idea of what my adventure, my journey in life has been like recently.
Thanks for listening.
Scribbling thoughts on an old receipt-
I can't seem to get them out of my head.
I'm going crazy, and i think you're the problem.
I wish I could blink and you'd be forgotten.
What would life be like without you here-
How would I live or even care?
Would I ever forget, would you fade away-
would your memory blur with each passing day?
Well, that would be nice, and bittersweet
but I know that's not how life works.
My hopes and dreams seem now like a curse
and yet things still seem to get worse...
Tell me what you think.
J
A lot has been going on in mine as of late (my new favorite phrase, by the way.)
Instead of telling you all of the things going on, I will tell you what I have learned because of them...
Parents are something not to be taken for granted. I've been without mine for only a little over and week and I still have a couple more to go- I have too often needed a "mom hug" or a piece of advice from Dad.
Family (cousins, in particular) are just wonderful. My cousin Chelsie came to visit from AZ for a week and I realized once again how blessed I am to have such lifelong friends in my cousins. Did that make sense?
God is in control. I had a really weird, horrible pain in my side for a few days (hopefully it's gone for good now) and it was not pleasant one bit. I love knowing that my creator God knows exactly what's going on though different doctors tell me different things.
Material things don't matter!! Now this, friends was a hard one to get over. I accidentally formatted my memory card that had all of my Alaska pictures on it and no they were not saved anywhere else. Though there may be a miraculous way to recover them (haven't tried yet,) I've pretty much resigned to the fact they are gone. Sad, but okay because they are just photos; mere reflections of the amazing experiences I had.
Change happens- People change. The weather changes. Gasoline prices change. It all happens whether we think it sucks really bad or not.
This most certainly does not encapsulate the last week, but it gives you an idea of what my adventure, my journey in life has been like recently.
Thanks for listening.
Scribbling thoughts on an old receipt-
I can't seem to get them out of my head.
I'm going crazy, and i think you're the problem.
I wish I could blink and you'd be forgotten.
What would life be like without you here-
How would I live or even care?
Would I ever forget, would you fade away-
would your memory blur with each passing day?
Well, that would be nice, and bittersweet
but I know that's not how life works.
My hopes and dreams seem now like a curse
and yet things still seem to get worse...
Tell me what you think.
J
Monday, August 3, 2009
good country for the country haters like me...
This is too often the case...
As the tears well up in my eyes,
I feel the pounding in my ears-
the pounding of a million thoughts,
feelings, emotions racing through my mind.
So much to do, with not enough time;
so much to say, but no words seem to rhyme.
How can I express to you, or give you a sign
when I don't even know what I'm feeling inside.
I've been into Alison Krauss lately.
It's weird because I am not really a country fan but I think she has enough folk in her music, I like it. A lot.
Here's one for you.
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Enjoy,
J
Monday, July 13, 2009
Adventure
I started to write a post before I left on friday but as i was trying to finish it up I heard the alarm being set downstairs and people going outside... I had to shut the window and run down yelling "No, don't go without me... I want to go toooooo!"
Here is a part of my journal entry on Friday while on the plane:
"Last night I went to bed at 3:30am and woke up this morning at 7:00am. I am tired. I've realized more than ever with this trip that traditions are traditions as far as staying up super late before any big adventure. I love it."
I love adventure. I think that life, real life- the life that God created humans to live is all about adventure and adversity and helping one another. All with the purpose of seeking him more and more as we go and discovering just how big and amazing he is and that no matter how much we search and chase, there will always be more of him that remains a mystery. Man, i love that about God. Unfortunately, I don't think that many people find this real kind of living. I don't even know if I can say I live like that. I know that it's out there though, and I really want it. What keeps people from finding this abundant life that God promises us? Let's see... selfishness... fear, maybe? How about pride. ouch. I am speaking from my own experience here. I get so caught up in my own life and living for myself that I honestly forget about God. Did I just say that? Whoops. Really though, isn't that what it is. Or maybe worse, I know that I'm not close to him and I'm okay with it. Kind of. Wow, just kind of went off there. Anyways... these are just some thoughts. I'd love to hear from anyone.
I am super blessed to be on an incredible adventure right now with the most amazing people- my family. I saw so much of God's glory today, it's crazy. Life is good.
A few things things I've learned while being in Alaska and just some random facts:
Here is a part of my journal entry on Friday while on the plane:
"Last night I went to bed at 3:30am and woke up this morning at 7:00am. I am tired. I've realized more than ever with this trip that traditions are traditions as far as staying up super late before any big adventure. I love it."
I love adventure. I think that life, real life- the life that God created humans to live is all about adventure and adversity and helping one another. All with the purpose of seeking him more and more as we go and discovering just how big and amazing he is and that no matter how much we search and chase, there will always be more of him that remains a mystery. Man, i love that about God. Unfortunately, I don't think that many people find this real kind of living. I don't even know if I can say I live like that. I know that it's out there though, and I really want it. What keeps people from finding this abundant life that God promises us? Let's see... selfishness... fear, maybe? How about pride. ouch. I am speaking from my own experience here. I get so caught up in my own life and living for myself that I honestly forget about God. Did I just say that? Whoops. Really though, isn't that what it is. Or maybe worse, I know that I'm not close to him and I'm okay with it. Kind of. Wow, just kind of went off there. Anyways... these are just some thoughts. I'd love to hear from anyone.
I am super blessed to be on an incredible adventure right now with the most amazing people- my family. I saw so much of God's glory today, it's crazy. Life is good.
A few things things I've learned while being in Alaska and just some random facts:
-It's 12:54 am right now and it's still somewhat light out- I watched the sunset around 11:20. So weird.
-People do beards so good here. I love it... for the most part.
-Glaciers are nice to drink... and beautiful... and fun to walk on.
-Moose are cute.
-It finally gets mostly dark around 2:00 am
-Northwest airlines is not so great.
-I really do have the best family ever.
-Although everyone says you will see bears they really are scarce... so far. This is somewhat comforting, but I am ready to have a wonderful bear adventure, dang it.
-The beauty of God is all around, no matter where you go... you just have to be content to notice it.
Everyday is new with no mistakes...
<3
J
Friday, July 3, 2009
Firsty Entry
I have decided to start a blog for a few purposes. I love writing- i'm not very good at it, but i enjoy it and would like to do it more and i thought that this would be a good way. I have lots of thoughts and opinions and questions concerning different issues or just concepts in general. I think this will be a good way to discuss those and share my thoughts, and hear yours, whoever you are. Most likely, i will just end up writing about life- the adventures i have, the adventures i want to have and everyday things. I sort of see this blog as a journal where i write about anything i feel like and share about random things and happenings. That includes songs, photos, conversations, music, stories etc. Of course i will leave out all the juicy stuff that my real journal provides space for :-) It's going to be a little slow coming i'm afraid as i am departing next friday on another adventure. But soon i hope to make my page a little more "me" and not so much "script". I have yet to learn the ways of the blogging world. Any advice from you pros would be appreciated :-)
Most sincerely,
J
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