one stroke of his brush

Crazy? Maybe.

2012-02-23T16:54:00.000-08:00

Dear world,

I wasn't made for you.

I wasn't created for your silly ways, and evil schemes.

You are full of pain, pride, and all sorts of perplexities.

Good try, but no thanks.

I have really been thinking lately about who I am, who 'we' are as people, as humans- but for the sake of ease and no hard feelings, I'll just talk about me and my mess here…

I do plenty of things. I act plenty of ways. I'm seen in many different ways.

But, I am not what I do. I am not how I act. I am not some character I try to portray.

I am a child of the most high King, King of the Universe that is… yeah, the Universe- you heard me.

Now that I think about it, why in the world would I want to be seen as anything else before that? Oh, the world… right, that's why. I'm in the world.

How often I think I have to be known as something, or someone. Why? Because in the world I'm in, it's crazy to answer any question about myself as… "Oh, I love Jesus Christ and strive to serve and honor him in all I do… I also love to make stuff."

Well, heck. Maybe I should just be crazy.

Yes, I love to dance. I love movement with music. It's incredible.

Yes, I love to act. I love to interpret words and become and feel like someone I'd never be in real life.

Yes, I love to create new things for the eye and mind. I love to take something old and used and give it new life and beauty and purpose.

Yes, I love to learn, to read, to write, to capture images.

Yes, I love to travel, to find adventure, to tell my stories.

All of those things speak about the way I was made and the passions God gave me...

But those things do not define me- should not define me.

Being the object of the creator of the Universe's affection… Wow, now that is something worth being known by.

With one life here on this messy, beautiful Earth, who or what will you be known for?

"If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

-C.S. Lewis

-J

p.s. The Universe is HUGE, in case you didn't know…

Words and Time.

2012-02-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

What is it called when your mind is overflowing with thoughts, emotions, and ideas, but words seem out of reach?

Why can I feel so strongly, but translate so poorly?

Words.

They are the problem. With inspiration, understanding, and direction, they create a bottomless pit of possibility…

...but with barriers, confusion, and chaos, they only frustrate and compromise reality.

And Time, what of that?

Something so valuable and positively crucial to the human existence, yet so taken for granted.

Wasted.

Stolen.

Desired.

Both are gifts, to be used wisely, or to be thrown to the wayside. Both are powerful.

Depending on the owner, the user, the consumer….

they can be a curse.

a blessing.

hated.

loved.

We have access to both.

We have choices.

We have responsibility.

We have power.

We have influence.

We have a gift.

A limited amount of time on this Earth.

A limited amount of words in our time.

What are you going to do with them?

What am I going to do with them?

the real adventurers.

2012-01-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

Greetings.

Well, it happened- Christmas came and then went. I just really love Christmastime. One of my favorite things about Christmastime is being with family. Cliche, I know. But my family is my favorite, so I like to think they're better than anyone else's. Anyway, this post actually isn't about my Christmas, rather about some people who are a reflection of Christ, so it sort of works out to be Christmas-y.

Now, I've always known my Grandparents to be incredible, loving, generous people who fear the Lord and do their best to serve him in everything they do.

{important note: That up there ^ was from about 2 weeks ago or so- still relevant though, and i'm picking up from where I left off…}

*Ahem* Grandparents. Christmas… oh, yes. I'm incredible blessed to have Grandparents who I grew up visiting often, who came to endure multiple shows I've been in, who came to stay with us when my parents went on adventures without us, who have driven all over the country to visit family… yes, you get the point- they're amazing. And most amazing of all, their faithfulness to the Lord has led our family to Jesus, too.

During the time they were visiting for Christmas, my eyes were opened to a whole new level of their amazingness… Most people in their seventies are worried about future living situations, what channel the news is on, and where is their dinner? Not to say that my grandparents are perfect, or that they don't acknowledge that they are not getting younger. But that does not stop them from seeking the Lord's will for their lives at this place where he's brought them. These incredible people are doing kingdom work here! As my Grandmother shared with me letters from a young man she had years ago in Sunday school, who is now is prison, she expressed sadness at not having done more for him when she was in a place of authority. Now, she is corresponding with him and encouraging him, as he's seeking the Lord and trying to do the right thing after all these years that have been lost. My Grandfather meets with other men weekly to pray and is active in sharing Christ's love with those he comes across whether it's his work, or at the grocery store. They visit and serve the lonely, elderly people in the nursing home in Boone, and share the hope and truth of Jesus Christ with them. They listen to these people. My Grandma prays for everyone in our family everyday. And I'm pretty sure that's a huge reason why my immediate family is alive. Seriously.

Basically, I've been really challenged and encouraged by witnessing my grandparents- just living their lives where God takes them. Not on a big stage, not to be seen as anything… but because of Christ in them.

I hope to be as vibrantly passionate about the Lord when I'm seventy-five as they are now.

Do you have Grandparents? They've been around longer than you, and though you may think you know everything already… you're wrong. Ask them questions, about anything. Respect them. Chances are, you have no idea what their lives have really been like. Chill out and learn something from people who have really lived.

What does God have for me right now, where I am? What does he have for you?

Let's ask him… anything is possible.

-J

p.s. I hope to post more frequently in the coming weeks… but of course you've heard that before. ha.

Atmosphere, Tea, and a High King.

2011-12-24T18:33:00.000-08:00

Hello, dear Readers,

First of all, I ask you to forgive me for the haphazardness of this post. So many ideas and subjects for writing have been swirling around in my head the last couple of days… so please, bear with me.

Here is a blog post from 367 days ago:
http://onestrokeofhisbrush.blogspot.com/2010_12_01_archive.html

I've been thinking about surroundings lately, and how they affect us. In a long term way and on a daily basis. The households we grow up in and the people who raise us play a huge part in shaping us into who we become. Everyday, the atmosphere we are in and the people we are subjected to… school, work, home… they all impact us continually. The scary thing is, we often don't realize it.

Last year at this time, I was in Birmingham, England with my sister, mom and aunt. We were at our cousin's tiny house and very well taken care of. We had food to eat, warmth, pleasant, sweet company, tea, and coffee ON THE HOUR… yeah, it was nice. But, I literally felt sick. I think that was the first time I've truly understood and physically felt real homesickness. Our flight out of London had been canceled, and then two others out of Birmingham after that were canceled. The Lord definitely used the time to open my eyes to the fact that I was completely consumed with my own little world, the traditions of my family, and my own selfish desires. I'd never not been with my whole immediate family on Christmas, and our extended family rituals are something I hold in high esteem. Anyway, the point is… that was last year. It was sad. But good. I can look back with fondness on the queen sized bed that the three of us attempted to sleep in, the 12 different vegetables and turkey we enjoyed for Christmas dinner, and the constancy of the soaps streaming through the big screen. Now, I can smile with thankfulness that I'm sitting in my living room on Christmas eve, listening to my family joking and laughing around the table in the other room, that I could drive anywhere if I wanted to, and that I can sleep in my bed and wear any of my clothes. They are simple things, but I am thankful.

I've been reading in Hebrews lately. Wow. Just wow. It's so good. I challenge you to look into that book if you haven't recently. Talk about reasons to be thankful.

Yes, Christmas is about Jesus being born, but how can we celebrate the birth of Christ without thinking about the death and resurrection; the prophecy which he came to fulfill?
A baby Jesus doesn't seem to offend people much at Christmas time, but what about a high King who created the world and defeated death for all mankind because of Love? Who hates sin and loves his creation? A God who is jealous for our hearts, and vicious toward his enemies? Who died on calvary for my sake, that I may spend eternity with him in paradise?

That is the baby Jesus I celebrate this year... And that is a dang good reason to be thankful.

What Jesus do you celebrate this year?

-Jami

Good news of great joy...

2011-12-18T22:06:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder what happens at a home church at Christmastime?
For the children of course...

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Annnd…. there goes a month...

2011-11-14T21:13:00.001-08:00

Dear readers… anyone there? I cannot blame you for not coming around anymore… I'm sorry for abandoning my little corner of cyberspace for so long. Life is flying by and I miss having the time to spend on personal creative endeavors. And lately, I've so longed to write. Alas, I cannot seem to find much spare time to set apart for it, among the many other creative pursuits.

So, instead of writing a long post tonight, I will share with you a blog post that I read earlier this evening by Michael Gungor of the band, 'Gungor.' It's subject matter is so good and true and something I've often thought about. It's a bit lengthy, but definitely worth the read.

Michael's blog post: Zombies, Wine, and Christian Music

Let me know what you think.

Peace and Blessings,

J

derailed

2011-10-14T23:56:00.000-07:00

There's a light up ahead,
can't see it yet- got a feeling instead.
I've been de-railed from a one-way track,
Free indeed, not looking back.

No more worry or a wondering mind,
'cause a heart split apart is a gem in a bind.
There is one who is true; not me, not you,
the healer of wounds, of which I've had a few.

Still winter must breath to bring forth the spring,
and 'til it awakens, I'm content just to be.
But when the day comes, I'll be eager to flee,
to find the adventure, the adventure for me.

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore'

2011-10-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

Amelia, the genius that she is, hosted a night of whimsy…

Scarves, knee socks, hats, ties, and a pocket watch adorned.
Tea, small desserts, and lovely cupcakes were taken.
'Penelope' was watched.
'The Raven' was recited… and present.
Zombies and a kitten were seen.
Insults were hurled.
Fiction families and british accented banter ensued.
Even some serious discussion found it's way in around 1 o'clock or so.

Needless to say, it was a fun gathering.
I don't have enough photos to do the evening justice, nor are the ones I have, of great quality.
Alas, they are a small portal through which you may catch a glimpse of said festivities.

David and I won most whimsically dressed and got prizes (thanks Amelia!) Though here our outfits have been compromised and we just look crazy. Yes, David is wearing socks on his ears.

Our lovely leader.

Please bear in mind that these last few were taken at peculiar hours of the morning :)

Live whimsically!

Dearest Mumsy and Papi...

2011-10-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

A silly poem I wrote for my world traveling parents. Love and miss you!

Nothing is quite the same without you around,
only reflections of your living- why, they abound.
Your messes lay lonely, your projects unfinished,
the days go quite smoothly, but the quality is diminished.

Your voice, your words I'd love to hear,
I must take them for granted when you are near.
Always ready for whatever is needed,
you give of yourself time that is pleaded.

Give it a week, or maybe a couple,
and life will be normal with all of it's bustle.
But until you come back and complete what is missing,
please know, of times past, I'll be here reminiscing.

Never be ready.

2011-09-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

We'll never be ready,
for the days ahead.
As much as we hope
to prepare and scope.

No, we'll never be ready
like the dress made to fit.
The candles will be lit,
but we'll never be ready.

'Cause love is a lesson for all who find
a need for a reason to be unblind,
And love is something that grows in time,
amidst the thorns upon the vine.

To learn is to live,
until we come home.
And though we'll never be ready,
love's made a way to the throne.

that person.

2011-09-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Most days I just wish I was Different. Better. Able.
Wouldn't it be great to be one of those great people?
That's pretty much my thought process.
I wish that when I had a sudden flood of emotion or joy,
I'd have the ability to sit down and compose a gorgeous tune,
or paint a masterpiece- original and personal,
or write a short story or poem, full of allegory and meaning.
Because it's all in there, it just doesn't know how to come out.

Most days I think, "If only. If only I was that kind of person."

Then some days, not nearly as often, in fact, very rarely do they come- I think, "What if I was that kind of person? Would I wish to be another kind? Would I really be satisfied in my abilities. Is that true life? Is that where 'it's at'?"

Probably not. I'd probably have other desires, like of being an average person who dreamed a lot and hoped for adventure- like the person I really am. Though, I'll never really know…

The point is that no matter who we are or what we can't do, we'll always be wanting to be something else.
Joy comes from being fully satisfied in Christ. And living fully comes from joy.

Dissatisfaction in who I am striving to be points to something deeper- attempting to be something on my own- searching for fulfillment elsewhere than in Christ.

Sometimes being a person is hard. And makes me tired.
The fact that I know the creator of the universe… now that is a reason to live, and live fully.

-j

a higher lesson.

2011-08-27T19:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I finished filling the journal I've written in for quite some time now. Kind of a momentous occasion. I don't free write near as often as I'd like, but the stuff I do have from the past few years is so special. I love looking back and seeing the way God has changed me and answered my seeking heart. But, sometimes I just feel like I've gone full circle and I'm back where I was, with a heavy heart and regrets.

Just opened up to this entry, well this is part of it. Often my journal entries evolve into prayers. How relevant this is in my life now…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 7th 2008

You and only you know my heart, my deepest secrets. Creator of my inmost being; lover of my soul. Life is nothing without you, God- what joy can come after I've tasted you? What joy besides yours, my king?

Psalm 51

v. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

v.12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What joy indeed? None. The ongoing lesson of true satisfaction being found in him only, continues.

*sigh* Am I the only one who deals with this? Surely not…. hopefully.

He is faithful.

-j

Windy Words.

2011-08-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

Lana and I went to Boone to visit our incredible Grandparents and Aunt and Uncle and cousins. Then we came to the appropriately named windy city, Chicago. Just for fun. The great thing about having a sister like Lana is that we're so similar, so when it comes to traveling, and adventuring we are pretty great. ha.

I've been to a lot of cities in my twenty years and I've been to Chicago twice before, also. (Well, if you count O'hare, I've been here many times… but that's irrelevant…)
In big cities, there is a lot for the senses. Lots of good, pretty, pleasant, and new things. But there are also plenty of ugly, dirty, sad, scary things as well. I continue to struggle with the 'homeless' dilemma. But perhaps that's for another time. When I'm placed in the midst of large amounts of people, (and in small amounts or more dispersed crowds- it just hits me harder with the masses) I can't help but wonder about individuals… wonder about their pasts, their wounds, their hearts. I hate thinking about the hurt and pain in their lives. I hate thinking that so many people don't know Jesus. Don't know how much they're worth. Don't know the truth. Don't have joy and security in Salvation. So as much as I enjoy visiting cities and traveling, I also feel burdened.

Now that I've got you all somber and thoughtful, I'll share a few photos of the trip.

We're heading home today. Which means, returning to work, reality, normal life.

I'm always peppered with a mixture of feelings upon the return from an adventure away from home.

A couple more things first…
We've spent some time in Starbucks here, too. Apparently, the toilets are just as loud here, but the people are also just as friendly. So all is well with that.

My friend, Zach was in Chicago at the same time as me, attending a geek, comic convention- we were even a few blocks away from each other at one point, but we never were able to meet up. I was sad about that, but life happens, I guess.

Yes, that's the amazing Misty May Treanor! :)

Live today.

-j

love everlasting.

2011-08-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

How can you love me? I am unfaithful.

How can you care for me? I have turned from you.

How can you see me? I am invisible.

How can you help me? I am unwilling.

How can you keep me? I run away.

How can you treasure me? I am flawed.

How can you use me? I am inadequate.

How can you want me? I am dirty.

How can you rescue me? I am lost.

And yet, you do.

Your love astounds me.

I am broken. But, I am yours.

Photo Credit: Lana Jensen

Social Media for a higher purpose?… and some typical nonsense.

2011-08-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Hello there.
I've been thinking… 'A dangerous pastime, I know.' Name that show?
Okay, I'm getting super distracted by the music I'm listening to. I have a hard time multi-tasking sometimes. I also have to use extra restraint to keep myself still when I'm sitting in Starbucks, listening to lively music that only I can hear.

Back to thinking…

How much time do we spend social networking? I mean really, let's be honest… how many hours a day? minutes a day? days a week? I think it's safe to say that, well- I'll just make this about my own life- I waste way too much time on Facebook, which is my social media website of choice, currently. Oh, yes. I was a tweeter once, but out of good intending, self will, I ended that. What a sacrifice. (I'm completely mocking myself, if you weren't with me there.)

So we've established that plenty of time is passed online doing not-so-important things. What if we-- excuse me-- I, what if I spent more of that time learning, educating myself, and sharing information about real life- issues, topics, current events, truth. I've been challenged with this idea recently and would really like to act on it more regularly than I have in the past. I mean, with Facebook, or any social networking site, we really have a huge opportunity to get information or ideas out there to get people thinking. I'm seeing how many chances I miss, simply because I'm too busy living in my own little world where everything I see and do goes through the tunnel of 'how does/will this affect me?'

Just like in real life, I don't want to miss opportunities to share truth and life with other people. And on Facebook, that could be through posting facts about abortion, opportunities for serving, encouragement through words… etc.
I want to be bold for what I believe and take a stand for truth. I want to be a leader in the places I am. Facebook and Blogspot are where I am very often. Why should I be a lukewarm, quiet crowd member when I have been given the gift of life, with a purpose to share the truth and be a spark of hope in a dark world… in this case, a cyber-world.

Does any of this resonate with you?
Let's talk about it.

Also, I'm hoping to be posting much more consistently on here and on my website blog- theblueroom

<3
J

a silly sunday story.

2011-07-18T01:26:00.000-07:00

My Sunday afternoon in the studio- sorting out treasure, cleaning, and visiting with Jose.

ha!

Not ready for Monday…

-J

throw 'em out the winda.

2011-06-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

As good as my intentions are for planning and executing thought out, pointed posts… often times they just aren't realistic. They aren't me. When I opened up my computer a few minutes ago, I was not planning on blogging, yet here I am!

I'm learning that's how life is a lot of times. I can have an idea in my head about how I think it should look, how I'd like it to play out, the things I want to do, people I want to see, places I want to go.

God usually has other plans. Way better ones. I want to strive to be so in love with him and so close to his spirit that his dreams become my dreams, his plans become my plans, his life becomes my life.
I say "I want to strive," because saying "I strive" would not be true. And truth is something that matters.

This is about the twentieth time I've written this post, but it's true. And I will keep saying it.

Life is for living, and I desperately want to do that, gracefully, humbly, righteously, courageously, lovingly, and as always, adventurously.

I bid you farewell for now.
I am off to go visit urban gardens in KC with my Mother. Fun times ahead!

And if you missed it before, don't forget to check out my new site: theblueroom :)

What is new with you?

<3
J

phineas and theblueroom

2011-06-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

Go read Numbers 25:6-13

Thoughts?

I have a lot.

Lord, make me zealous like Phineas, willing and courageous to be your vessel- to further your kingdom and save your people.

In other news, much less important in comparison, but quite exciting for me… I finally started my art website. It's not much now, but take a look if you want: theblueroomventures, and let me know what you think.

I still plan to write on here, as well, in a more personal, whatever-i-feel-like sort of fashion. And hopefully more often than I have been.

I do hope life is giving you plenty of adventures and stories to tell.

-J

blue skies.

2011-05-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

Hopefully soon, I will write a 'for real' blog post, like old times. I definitely have the material for it.
For now, at 1:01 A.M. -- throat sore, body tired, mind faint at the prospect of the hours of rehearsing this weekend will demand, and heart heavy with many questions and worries, I'll share with you this…

{On days of gray
When doubt clouds my view
It's so hard to see past my fears
My strength seems to fade
And it's all I can do
To hold on, 'til the light reappears
Still, I believe though some rain's bound to fall
That you're here next to me
And you're over it all}
Grant Cunningham; Matt Huesmann

In a Day

2011-05-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

Last week.

2011-05-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

Hello there.
I'm going to share a few things I did this past week. I didn't get past making the notebook… meaning, I decorated it and then worked on other stuff and it's still blank :) Oh well. I'll just post a few photos.

One evening, my art teacher told me I was going to paint with oil. I've done this one time before and discovered how little patience I have. ha! Anyway, I gave it another try and had fun just working with a few shades. Simple. It makes me think of the ocean, or the sky. Deep and Dark.

The embellished notebook… pages still blank. Oops.

Headband with the same type of flowers; modeled by my lovely friend, Diana :)

As I mentioned before, I've been playing around with Elements and creating my own textures.
Here are the textures I threw together. The paper already had the nice velvet design.

I had a fun week :)
And once again, thanks to Kim Klassen for helping me not get lost in the confusion of Photoshop Elements :) I'm taking a mini e-course from her this week to learn more. Yay!
Oh! And I'm super excited about my new workbench/table and slowly evolving workspace. Photos soon, perhaps.

Thoughts?

-J

p.s. My 'Adventure' photo on flickr

summer hopeful.

2011-05-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

summer hopeful., a photo by ivoryhopes on Flickr.

I finally got photoshop elements. Thanks to www.kimklassencafe.com, I'm not completely lost :)
I'm a complete sucker for texture.
What do you think?

Collage for 'Raining Umbrellas'…

2011-05-05T22:51:00.000-07:00

Collage for 'Raining Umbrellas'…
So I just, and I mean literally just installed photoshop elements (yay!) and made this collage. It pains me to be aware of all of the neat ways I could have done it, but considering I hardly know what I'm doing in there at this point, and that tomorrow is Friday and it's 12:47 a.m. right now… I decided simple and easy was best for now. I look forward to many more opportunities to design way cooler things. But, now is not that time. Alas! My simple collage… just a little peak into my life.
Thanks for caring!

Serendipity?

2011-05-03T12:21:00.000-07:00

not for the gentle reader...

2011-04-30T23:29:00.000-07:00

We have influence over the future. Choices we make affect the rest of our lives. Okay, I still have a hard time with the whole "effect vs. affect" thing… drives me crazy. I think I got it right that time.
Life is short. Kind of like this blog post.
To put it simply,
Man= sinful, in need of healing, forgiveness… a Savior.
Jesus Christ= creator, perfecter of faith, everlasting lover, SAVIOR etc.
Cars, money, "peace," food, hollywood, power etc. = not true happiness.
Jesus= forgiveness, joy in the midst of trial, reason for living (he created us, for goodness sakes)
Jesus= only way to the father, heaven, truth.
JESUS=LIFE

Dear friends, let us not become weak in our knowledge of the truth. The word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword…
that's pretty sharp, by my observations and calculations.

I'm just in a 'say it like it is' mood. And may the Lord forgive me for not being more bold about the truth more often, while I have the chance.

He is life and all that is worth pursuing. People and things and ideas will come and go, but he is everlasting.

<3
Jami

p.s. i'm twenty now. and blessed beyond words. excited to see his plan for the future.

Visitors on Butterfield

2011-04-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

So a while back I wrote a post about squirrels and their freakish growing population and boldness around people. View post here. Well, today I had an memorable experience… socializing with baby squirrels. I went outside to move the car, and my neighbor summoned me over to see this incredible sight. So, though I still believe the squirrel movement is spreading at an alarming rate, I cannot tell a lie… I absolutely melt over (most) small, furry creatures; anything miniature, really.
Hope you enjoy these little guys as much as we did…

a path + two curious girls + SB = adventure.

2011-04-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

two girls.

we kind of like our shadows.

Hannah and the big mulch.

Hannah is good at doing funny things.

"We are here… and we want to be there."

two naughty girls?

a path.

Hannah and the stinky flowers.

a neat place...

with neat people (obviously.)

tap tap ahem.

2011-04-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, hello there.

Now bare with me- I realize it's been awhile since I've posted a 'just me, life, what's up' kind of post. And I think that's okay. Just as the seasons change around us and the tulips bloom and the cold heads out, we as people change and go through seasons of our own.

I'm happy to tell you that with the coming of this beautiful weather, which amazes me year after year with it's ability to never become less exciting than it was the year before, that I too have become re-inspired, renewed, and ready to live out the wondrous life that I have so undeservedly been given. So, in relation with you, my dear readers, that means I'll probably be writing more and posting more consistently.

Who knows though, really? Who can say what life will bring this month, this week, even this day? That is what makes it so exciting, is it not?

A lot has happened recently, so to bring you up to date with my life, I will tell you this… God is faithful :)

Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Maybe I will write more on that another time, or perchance in real life, our paths may cross, and we may wonder together at his glory and goodness over coffee, or under the vast blue above us.

Color, childhood experiences, serving through time given, the sanctity of life, creating, and giving up all burden and anxiety; fear and worry to Lord--
All subjects recently flooding my mind and resting on my heart.

Have you lived today?
-J

something out of nothing?

2011-03-31T14:53:00.000-07:00

I want to be something for him, but only through him can I be anything.
Let your dream be my dream, take my heart and shape it to your likeness.
I see now that my efforts are all in vain, my own successes are nothing.
Make me into a vessel for you, let your life be seen through mine.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Agenda

2011-03-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

for the week:

become a clever seamstress
transform into a brilliant pianist
finish essay/story
order some new supplies
paint a couple of pictures for the bathroom
exercise every day (besides dance)
go out for a photo shoot
read a few books...
...turn into a history buff
bake some banana bread
learn how to throw pottery

no big deal.

what about you?

silence

2011-03-23T13:39:00.000-07:00

A heart so full, a mind so engaged, a body so busy… perhaps silence is the best option.

All Men...

2011-03-15T17:27:00.000-07:00

We hold these truths to be self–evident,

That all men are created equal,

That they are endowed by their Creator

with certain unalienable Rights,

That among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men,

Deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

Team Thomas

2011-03-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

Meet Noah.

Tiny Toes.

Meet Ainsley.

Puzzles in Pajamas.

Mysterious Magnets.

Puzzle Pondering.

Team Thomas.

Waiting

2011-03-03T16:18:00.000-08:00

Saving Sex for Marriage

Here's an article I wrote recently for Suite 101.

Page views are good for me :)

silent safety

2011-02-27T18:02:00.000-08:00

When I feel alone and sad,

happy, silly, or glad…

There is a place that's safe to be,

a room where I am free.

oh hey, nice sparkly helmet.

2011-02-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

For me, the Superbowl consists of eating man food, choosing a team to cheer for (usually the underdog, but uniform appearance is not excluded in affecting my decision) with spontaneous passion, and enjoying the clever commercials. All with a wonderful mixture of friends and family. We never really know who's going to show up. What fun!

p.s. Woo hoo Green Bay!

Though there were a couple of other good ones, I remember these to be my top 3 favorite commercials.

If you missed them, here's your chance to see the good ones :)

Enjoy!

What were your favorites?

Peace and Blessings.

A glimpse into...

2011-01-30T16:15:00.000-08:00

the writing sessions of a wanna-be.

I move the candles in nearer, close the curtains, and sit down in the best ten dollars I’ve ever spent- a big chair I bought at a garage sale years ago and have covered with a vintage sheet that does wonders for the color orange. Journal, notebook, computer, and the Daily Writer close by, I’m ready to begin.

Inspired by the daily reading from Fred, I open my journal and scribble down my thoughts and fears related to writing, and what I must do to succeed. It’s a motivational sort of entry that just sets my creative spirit loose; ready to conquer any obstacle the monotonous, empty wall across the room might hurl my way. You know the kind I’m talking about.

After the inspiring journal entry complete with a triple-point conclusion, I realize I’m hungry. I wander into the kitchen, pleased with the sight on the stove. With soup and cranberry juice in hand, I make my way back to the cozy corner in my room. I open my computer and begin to eat my lunch. Now, I can’t write and eat at the same time, so naturally I check what’s new on facebook and in the blogosphere.

The world seems to be doing alright. Okay, I really need to get started now. I have an idea for a piece, which is a start-but wait, I need music! In the mood for something new, so I open my document of recommended music (yes, I do have one- please, no judging,) and after a few failed chances by artists who are to remain un-named, I settle on Rosie Thomas… for now. Thanks, Grooveshark.

Back to business. Does a fresh, blank word document terrify anyone else? I should be over it by now. Ready or not, I start typing. That’s the second hardest part- starting. I think the first hardest part is finishing. Is that weird? Just keep typing.

Well, I’ve started, so now I deserve a break, right? Ice cream. Don’t you love when the amount left in the carton is the perfect amount for the vessel you’ve chosen to eat it out of? I do. In this case, it’s a flimsy, plastic cup with hearts running across the center- a treasure from Valentine’s Day past, to be sure.

After a few more paragraphs, a change of tunes, a minor spoon catastrophe, a facebook update, and a stomachache, I’m almost done. Wait, didn’t I just start?

Perhaps the heart of the story is in the journey, and the end gives no warning.

After all, isn’t that how life works?

pain wears a pretty mask.

2011-01-27T13:36:00.000-08:00

i'm not dead yet.

2011-01-21T22:55:00.000-08:00

Life is good. Real good. I have been learning a lot recently. God is so faithful. Do you ever just ponder his goodness?

Growth is a sign of life, and in my case, well, I'm thankful for that. Often I get discouraged about things happening or not happening in my life and recently I realized that getting down about it really doesn't help the problem. Rolling up my sleeves and doing hard things is a start and one worth setting out on.
Also, is it really possible that I could once again lose sight of who God is? I mean, really… who and what he is?
Crazy! I amaze myself with my lack of memory. And pitiful complaining sessions.
Sometimes, I just don't feel it. What's "it?" Could be anything… reading the Bible, dancing, writing, creating, etc. Yet those are things I love to do and was made to do. Does it seem like there may be somebody else at work here, making things a little screwy? I think so.

So the good part? God has shown me mercy and granted me the courage to see past those low times. Sometimes it's just a choice. It starts in the mind and works it's way down to the heart.

Every day is full of choices.

To walk in truth, or listen to lies. To confess and repent, or sink deeper in sin. To watch TV, or start that project that's been mulling around in your creative mind for a good couple of weeks. To spend an hour social networking or spend that hour in the novel you've sworn to read for the past 3 nights. To write a note to someone you love, or smile at the thought as it floats out of your mind.

Some may be more important than others, but I believe every decision I make effects my life in a real way.

Here's to choosing the wise, creative, hard, love-filled, adventurous road…

here's to true life!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life,

and have it to the full.

-John 10:10

just do it.

2011-01-15T21:00:00.000-08:00

romantic vs. practical

2011-01-11T01:28:00.000-08:00

Dec. 13th 2010
Well, off on another adventure! Oh, how I love traveling. But at the same time, it scares me a little.
First mistake, well maybe mistake- I went the romantic route, rather than practical by bringing my floral suitcase and turquoise backpack. The suitcase- though small, has no wheels. And the backpack- though comfy, is a bit heavy, and I don't have a rolling suitcase to set it on. Oh, well- too late now!
Headed to Newark. This plane is very small. The lady across the aisle reminds me of the mother in the old 'Freaky Friday.' Complete with supplemental eyelashes. Just sayin'!
Mom gave me a freelance writing book for 'Guys and Dolls' (no connection to the show there, but heck! I like it!) I brought it, along with 'Persuasion' (as we will be visiting Miss Jane Austen's house, grave, etc,) 'Passion and Purity,' 'The Big Book of Words you should Know,' and of course, the Bible :)
Carly and Joseph came along, too. And the new lens. Looking forward to using that!
Why, oh why is my handwriting not romantic? How I long to write beautifully crafted words. Blast!

An excerpt from my London journal, just a bit tweaked.

the truth is...

2011-01-05T15:39:00.000-08:00

i am nothing, on my own.

i am selfish, prideful, and judgmental.

dreams and desires, hopes and goals…

are pointless without a purpose; a realization of their origin.

where do dreams come from? from where do unique ideas spring up?

i create, because i was created. i hope, because he has hope for me.

i live because he breathed life into me.

i am nothing. have nothing. can do nothing.
without him.

what is a dream without a purpose?
what is a work of art without a creator?
what is life without a savior?

nothing.

but, because of him…

i have everything.
and the possibilities are endless.

photo credit: Mum

All I want for Christmas...

2010-12-22T05:00:00.000-08:00

This has been nice…

Millenium Bridge, London England.

But this is what I want right now…

HOME

Hidden in the Text

2010-12-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

I open my worn-out wallet and investigate its contents. Library card, postage stamps, and plenty of punch cards I’ll never use again. Ah, there is it. KANSAS DL. I pull it out and look over the information that describes me as a human.

Gender. Ever since I was little, I’ve loved dressing up, trying to look pretty. At times, I failed miserably (Mom, where WERE you?) I’ve desired to be a beauty worth rescuing. Every girl was created with hopes and dreams. Though the world loves to destroy the passion in hearts, perverting beauty and twisting love- I choose to seek out adventure and chase the dreams that were planted inside me for a purpose.

Height. “Yes, I know I’m short.” I wonder how many times I’ve had to say that. I do happen to see myself in the mirror every so often. Perhaps some folks just see height as power? Maybe they are insecure, and feel better when they meet short people. Just for the record, I am perfectly okay with my height. I have more options when it comes to marriage!

Weight. I was so skinny and limber, and then something horrible happened. I grew up, and when I ate, it actually affected me. Going from being able to down nerds and coke weekly and staying tiny and cute to entering an awkward phase in which vertical and horizontal growth hormones got mixed up on their dates is traumatizing! I’ve never really been the same as before, but I’ve managed to cope. Thankfully, after losing the little figure, I lost the appetite for junk, too.

Eye color. The vast ocean, the slender blades of grass, the textured skin on a lime… green is life, representing growth. I’m not an environmentalist and I don’t worship trees. I enjoy the beautiful creation all around me, and I love to discover. My eyes haven’t always been green-when I was little they were blue. Some changes in life are good.

Birth date. I love the anticipation of that day. Usually, nothing outrageously incredible, or dramatically life-changing happens, but I like to know there’s always the possibility. Who knows what could transpire? It’s silly of me to think this way, when really anything could happen on any given day, and every day is someone’s birthday, but still, I like to dream.

Signature. It isn’t half bad considering it was written with one of those electronic pens. You know the kind I’m talking about. Where after you’re done, you have to make some joke to the teller about how bad you are at using “those things.” Really, I CAN write my name.

Organ Donor. That sunny afternoon in May, driving home from work, I realized just how much control I actually have. I often cruise through life, planning and forecasting my days. I have a responsibility when it comes to using time, spending money, and the words I speak, but control? When I was skidding across the highway, attempting to regain control of the car, I was thinking, “This could be it.” Then, after the car hit the median, I thanked God for his hand over my physical protection, though in a matter of seconds my emotional, mental, and spiritual state was thrown into confusion. That day I learned that I really don’t have control over my life and gladly recognize the one who does. And, because of that, I am here today, telling you about it.

Okay, so I do still LOVE icecream. don't judge.

age and quality.

2010-11-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

Some music is wonderful and then after a while, not so wonderful. Some music is awful, then eventually, you love it. some music is great and, after a few years… is just as great.

This is an album I've listened to for years. Still love it.

Sixpence None the Richer's self-titled album.

Check it out :)

blessed.

2010-11-21T22:39:00.000-08:00

meet the family.

the parents.
two individuals committed to love, each other, their kids and the divinely perfect God who created all of the above.
incredible friends, sensitive do-ers of the word, and adventure chasing, world travelers.

brother.

smart, funny, hardworking.

kindred spirit in humor and beast musician.

devoted husband, loyal brother, lover of Jesus.

sister.

best friend, confidante, example setter.

half of the sister-brain administration.

seeker of adventure, appreciator of art, competent teacher.

beautiful, talented, passionate lover of Jesus and truth.

sister-in-law.

caring, creative, ambitious.

compassionate servant, zealous for morality, gifted artist.

loving wife, understanding sister, sincere lover of Jesus.

Dogs.

silly, cute, fluffy.

unnecessary barkers, nap-time cuddlers, popcorn lovers.

enthusiastic on walks, sleepy in the sun, live for chewchies.

Loyal pets.

Yesterday never returns.

2010-11-17T21:49:00.000-08:00

"How much of human life is lost in waiting."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

November's Narrator

2010-11-11T12:08:00.000-08:00

Life is busy. I kind of love it, kind of hate it.
Sometimes I just wish I could quit everything that is mundane, everything that just has to be done.
But, I know, it's those things that build character, encourage creativity, and enforce responsibility.
Life is really good, though I know it has the potential to be way better. We have the power- the knowledge.
Hope things are going well for you, reader.
Here are a few favorites from recent shoots.
Enjoy, and remember to appreciate the beauty in the small things all around you!

Infected by Arrogance

2010-11-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Read this in World Magazine recently. Mr. Belz = great guy.

Let me know me know what you think… if you read it.

Infected by Arrogance

by Joel Belz

The note I got from Vice President Joe Biden last week puzzled me at first. Gregarious as he is, I've never met the man. And I wasn't used to his calling me by my first name.

"Joel," he wrote, "I just wanted to take a moment to thank you. I know you are volunteering for this campaign, giving time that is hard to come by. I know you're also giving what you can afford to fuel our work, even though that's also hard for so many. But you believe in what the President is trying to do to move this country forward. And we believe in you. Thank you again. Joe."

It's not as though I had never received a computer-generated message. I've even been on the sending end of a whole lot of direct mail, and am at least passingly familiar with how many things you can do to make the addressee feel like a friend. Most of them I try to avoid just because they insult the intelligence of the recipient.

But this note was different. It didn't merely pretend that our friendship was closer than it really was. It suggested a friendship that didn't even exist in the first place. Somebody had put my name on a list of donors to a cause I pretty categorically reject. Yes, two years ago I had, in the quiet of a voting booth, for the first time in my life voted for a couple of Democrats I thought to be good choices for public service. And somehow, ever since, I've been getting these insultingly chummy notes thanking me for being so loyal.

The Republicans, mind you, are no better. A friend from church, Robert Persons, decided last month to show the level of his current GOP loyalty by sending a whopping contribution of just one cent to help the congressional committee through the 2010 election cycle. "On behalf of the entire Republican House Leadership," the computer wrote back, "I want to thank you for your Membership Renewal and generous contribution of $.01 to the National Republican Congressional Committee. By renewing your membership, you are part of a reinvigorated team at the NRCC, dedicated to setting a new course for Congress and the nation. By signing up early, you have shown me and my Republican House colleagues that you stand 100 percent behind us as we fight to stop the Democrats' ultra-liberal agenda. . . . Your allegiance is now, as always, invaluable."

The closing to the letter was especially notable. If just $.01 would do this much, the computer wondered, had Mr. Persons considered what might happen if he would match his own gift? "An additional contribution of $.01," the letter said, "will help build the foundation necessary to secure victory." The check-off list on the reply card helpfully included categories of both $.01 and $.02.

Much has been written in recent days about the public arrogance of the current administration. And indeed, a big part of that atmosphere has been produced by the president himself. Arkansas Democratic Congressman Marion Berry earlier this year recalled a conversation he had with President Obama. Berry worried to the president that the Obamacare effort reminded him too much of the failed 1994 healthcare reform effort. The "big difference," the president assured the congressman, "is me." Such arrogance oozes from the Obama White House. During the Bush years, critics took issue with the administration's stubbornness; but stubbornness is different from arrogance. Compare Bush and Obama as individuals, and there's no question who's better equipped to teach a course in personal modesty and who's more needful of taking such a course.

But that's not my main point here. The people writing the fundraising letters—for both parties—all seem to be infected with the same arrogance. They badger us to believe them: Send us to Washington, and we'll straighten things out. We'll make government run the way it's supposed to.

And they expect me to believe that when they don't even know if I'm a political friend or foe? Or when they can't stop long enough to interpret the meaning of a simple penny taped to a reply card?

That's a kind of arrogance we need to watch out for—regardless of what happens on Nov. 2.

red

2010-11-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

I am vibrant like the morning sun just after it’s fully above horizon. My bold hue has dominion over all other colors. I am distinguished; unique. I have the ability to change when mingled with contrasting colors. I give life, running through the veins of beings. Death comes when I escape. I am strong and consuming like a flame, but I can be gentle and reflective like satin. When painted on a pair of lips, I make them irresistible. I represent passion. I sneak into the cheeks of the romanced. I rest on the shoulders of the laborer in the sun. I cling to the tip of a chilled nose. Requested often, encountered daily, and always prepared. I am red.

sunshine and doggie love

2010-10-30T12:21:00.000-07:00

Agenda for the day:

sleep in ✓
pick up ashley ✓
finish writing small short piece for writing class ✓
compose song about my dogs ✓
take dogs on walk ✓
purchase various neat things at michaels ☐
see family ☐
eat food besides cereal ☐
read lessons for photography class ✓
read more lessons for said class ☐
read lessons for writing class ☐
write assignments for said class ☐
date with camera- assignments for former said class ☐
see hannah marie and maybe eat gelato ☐
visit starbucks ☐
get house ready for fellowship ☐
return garage door opener to gibson home ☐

i have a ways to go, but...

enjoy sunshine and the intricacy of creation ✔

Only.

2010-10-28T21:26:00.000-07:00

Some things can only be said through tears
Some things will only be healed with years.
Don't know why I've wasted so many; I should have been living
Now I've only stacked up wounds and words that need forgiving.

Meet Marisa...

2010-10-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

I have a friend named Marisa.
She made this notebook for me. How cool is that?
Marisa is a girl that I really love. I mean, I love a lot of people, but there is something unique about Marisa.
She has a joy and presence that simply indicates the peace of God.
She is quiet and reserved when she sees fit and outgoing and enthusiastic when she's with friends and she feels comfortable- it's called discernment. A quality which I respect very much in a fellow human.
Marisa is kind- not just nice and "caring"- I mean this girl has a love and kindness that only comes from the true source of love- Christ Jesus.
As much as I admire and want to brag about her, I really must give the glory to God and praise him for the character and quality of this woman. Wow, good job, God for creating such a lovely, passionate, artistic being, uniquely designed to live a beautiful, inspired, encouraging life.
Marisa is a reflection of the Lord's love and creativity.
And good job, Marisa for walking on the path he has set out before you, by his grace.
Your life is truly a testimony to his goodness.
And now, good job to me, for somehow being lucky enough to find myself in a friendship with this talented, delightful, young lady!

Good work everyone.

Seriously!? Adorable!

squirrel invasion.

2010-10-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else noticed the growing boldness of these creatures? As I was in the TCH parking lot earlier, waiting to pull out, I watched a couple of them darting back and forth across the small lawn right by the sidewalk and very close to passing people and cars. This is a high traffic area and these little guys are just here and there and everywhere. Today is not the first time I've noticed their audacious actions. I recollect countless times of eyeing squirrels running in front of me or fearlessly creeping up the sidewalk to my house. They are everywhere and gaining confidence. Perhaps they are scheming to take over the world. Why not? I'm convinced the one that peers into our kitchen window is a spy. We named him the FBI squirrel. Seriously, the way they act around our house is crazy. Like they know something we don't. Some master plan we are all oblivious of. Almost as though they are laughing at us, as we walk by attending to our business. It makes perfect sense- they are cute little devils. It's always the cute ones you have to watch out for. No one expects it. Well put it on the record that I called it. I suspected them all along.

Just you wait and see.

2010-10-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

How I wish I had some deep insight, some witty expression, some intelligent nugget to share with you…
I feel empty.
Yes, I do have thoughts, I do have revelations, but somehow nothing is just shoving it's way, about to burst forth. You know when you have that word that you just have to share, have to get out? Yeah, not having that right now.

I've been wanting to actually write a decent post for some time now, but as I have been taking more and more pictures, I seem to have the ability to show rather than tell. That's just where I am right now, I guess.

So, you get more pictures.

Two things I love:
My sister and bestie, (with…) Lana.
Starbucks.

Put them together, and this is what you get…

Lana's "sexy" face.

Lana's not sexy face

Coffee is just good.

oh, a drip.

She is just adorable.

Mmmm...

Not sure what's happening here, but I LOVE it.

"I have something in my eye." "Oh, here- I'll get it with my camera."

dance. coffee. YOU.

YOU.

So many questions.

Oh, look. It's me.

these are a few of my favorite things...

Latte love.

new hero? yes.

2010-10-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Born during a saline abortion, Gianna Jessen states "I did not survive so I could make everyone comfortable, I survived so I could stir things up a bit." So incredible. Watch.

It's in two parts so make sure you see them both :)

Arty Party

2010-10-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

Brian hosted an art party. It was fun. We had a good, messy time and ended up with some pretty sweet pieces for decorating their apartment.

El dropped her phone in paint. then used it as a stamp. genius. i love her.

Is she not the cutest thing?

Hard at work.

yay!

Dominic creating a masterpiece.

why yes, those are coffee grounds :)

El's coffee ground experiment didn't go over so well ;)

Eric would create a perfect picture.

it's official.

2010-10-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

October has come, as it always does. I love that about the seasons, they never cease to visit us when the time is right. I decided it's time to wear hats. It's official. I wore one today, and loved it. Have I mentioned ever how much I love hats? I also love scarves, mittens, and boots. I just love warm.

In case you were wondering, three of my favorite spices are Nutmeg, Ginger, and Cloves. I think those would make nice names for puppies. I'll have to remember that.

I've documented a few recent events through photography lately- so let this be a warning that photo posts will most likely be on their way. Carly has does me well, and I look forward to learning more about her.

Pretty excited to see my parents in a few days. I've missed them, even if they are kind of loud :) The house just isn't the same without Mom clanging around in the kitchen and Dad rushing in the front door with some sort of news. Gee, I love them. I'm sure they've had an amazing trip full of adventure, romance, and beauty. They always do. I love it.

Here are some shots from a night visit downtown with my besties.

this man was great. bummer it's blurry!

squash anyone?

faves.

this is a neat place.

locally grown!

great music, horrible photo!

beautiful.

that's what I always say...

besties with… :)

love them.

goodnight.

why not?

2010-09-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

Okay.

Lost Melody

2010-09-20T15:50:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like your life is like a jazz song, never knowing what's coming next, but enjoying the short place you are?

one.

2010-09-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

Sometime things in life disappoint.
They are hard to understand.
They are not what we wanted, or hoped for.
It's at these times we have a choice to make.
Be upset and become bitter, or
decide to make the best of it, look for God's plan in
the situation, and seek to learn, live and love through it.
Even if no one else knows, or sees- doing the right thing
is the most rewarding, and the toughest.
I trust I will find this to be true in my own situation.
I have an audience of ONE.

Edith's thoughts on Art and Creativity

2010-09-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of excerpts from the Hidden Art of Homemaking- by Edith Schaeffer. Please don't be thrown off by the title. This lady has incredible insight on creativity in everyday life- something that I am continually seeking, and learning about. Hopefully you can relate, and can appreciate the nature of this post.

As I have mentioned numerous times before- if we are made in God's image and he is obviously creative, do we not also possess that creative ability, each in a unique and personal way?

Enjoy these thoughts on Art and Creativity, and let me know what you think!

What is Art? Authorities do not agree. Definitions differ.

Who draws the line that separates Art from Design?

Sculpture from Ornaments?

Poetry from Jingles?

Great Music from Pooh's Hums?

Great Literature from Daily News?

Is Art beauty, or depth, or expression?

Is Art communication calling for response?

Is Art the talent for involving other human beings in what otherwise would remain locked in the mind?

Is Art something that draws many into the beauty, joy, and vividness of another person's understanding?

Is Art something that includes others in the torn struggling of another person's suffering?

What is creativity?

What is it we do when we create something?

We start with an idea, or a number of ideas. Something comes into our minds.

We have a flow of ideas, sometimes a tremendous flow of ideas, at times in one direction, or at other times in another direction; or perhaps even ten directions at once. And now we have to make a choice. We cannot do everything that comes into our minds, nor can we create everything that comes into our imaginations, whether it be in a very great or complicated area of science or art, or in a very mundane area, such as whether we should make a chocolate, vanilla, or spice cake for the evening meal. There is choice involved in the very simplest form of creativity, because as any set of possibilities comes into our minds, we have to choose.

galumphing

2010-09-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a short piece I wrote for my writing class. It was kind of an experiment and the object, occupation, and location were picked at random from a list. And may I add, fiction is not my thing.

Umbrella
Science Teacher
Sandy Beach

Mr. Walton was so glad to have taken his vacation week in June. The warm sand was just what he needed under his stiff, aching back. After all, he stood up all day in the classroom and he even took on summer classes this year. Ah, yes, this was the life. Right as he was dozing off, something mercilessly bashed against his head. He sprung up, disoriented to see an oblivious little girl, with a head of strawberry-blonde curls and both arms full of random oceanside paraphernalia- sunglasses, bucket and shovel, a bag of goodies and the object he immediately recognized as the cause for his recent injury. A brightly colored umbrella, complete with stripes and a small, curved handle. He smiled wide, despite the growing lump on his head, as he watched her follow her mother until they found the perfect spot, and she set up her umbrella. As he laid his swelling head back down, he mused on the wonder of young life. Even being the scientist that he was, he could not put his finger on the mystery of a child’s power and ability to spread joy and honesty, amidst pain and confusion in a hurting world.

moving on.

2010-08-31T12:50:00.000-07:00

Realizing I may never know some things. Never have answers.
It's hard, but that's okay.

Apples a plenty.

2010-08-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

We have an apple tree. It is very generous. We like apples and the delicious treats that come from them.

what a cutie.

best. mom. ever.

Lana is passionate about apple butter.

apples. apples. apples.

lovely girl with lovely apron.

i probably could have found a better picture worthy one. oh well.

YUM.

lucinda.

eleanor.

cinnamon

worms happen.

the season of autumn in edible form.

oh, the walk you can take.

2010-08-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

As I was walking my sheltered, hyper canines this morning I realized how wonderful taking walks really is. Not only am I exposing my fluffy little dogs to fresh air (side walk fresh air is different than backyard fresh air, you know) and exercise- but I'm also taking advantage of that myself- fresh air and exercise.

After that, I started thinking about other tasks or opportunities one might complete or act upon while simply taking the dogs (or children, or any other small, nature loving beings) for a morning walk.

Prayer. Often all throughout the day I have the choice to be in a constant prayer mode, while I'm doing stuff. And I am learning this more, with the Lord's help. But how often does my thought process take a negative turn (there are so many options…) when I could just talk to him about the problem or the person or whatever.

Need to make some phone calls? Maybe just to catch up with people you love and care about, but hardly ever talk to. In our day when most communication is done via texting, email, fb etc. how nice would it be to have a good old fashioned phone conversation with a distant friend?

And if you're like me, you might just enjoy nature and the world around you. Music is good for exercising, but sometimes the sound of the day going by is a beautiful way to think about how good life is and how incredible God is. And who knows what a sincere smile might do for someone you pass on the sidewalk?

I want to live every moment, every day to the Glory of God and be creative with the life he has given me, even if it's just little things no one else sees or knows about. He does, and that's all that really matters. We have been made in the image of a creative God- do we not then reflect and possess that same creative ability?

YES.

here's a shout out to miss ruth jeffrey, who has officially joined the blogging world, as well as the college world! I will miss our bike rides, random adventures, and heart to hearts. Hopefully many more will occur in the future! And MANY stories better come my way :) I love you, RUTH MARIE!
check out her blog!!

www.ruthysbigadventures.blogspot.com/

treasure.

2010-08-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

I found some treasure yesterday.

a day for play.

2010-08-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

Sweet girl!

She's a textaholic. Sorry, Molly :)

Now entering the island of Sodor...

love this face.

thanks to Noah, I've learned so much about tank engines!

oh, hey there.

Callie was not amused with all the hullabaloo. we tried to get her out… she would not be moved.

thomas in action.

Ainsley and Noah

I love my job :)

new post

2010-08-04T22:14:00.000-07:00

So, when i hit the NEW POST button, I had no idea what I was going to write about.
I still don't know.

*pauses for a few minutes, thinking*

Usually when I don't know what to write about, it's because there are so many options. And it's easy to default to writing something to the effect of how good God is. I don't think this is a bad thing.

I love creativity. I love how every single person in the world right now is unique and different than everyone else in so many ways. I love that God designed it that way. He made us creative because he is creative and we are made in his image. Ok, seriously. We are made in the image of the creator of this whole universe!? We are pretty special and he thinks so, even when we are told otherwise or don't believe it ourselves. I'm not trying to build you up here, thinking you are all great because of something you have done. No, You are great because of who he is, and the detail he put into creating you exactly how you are.

I also love that there is so much mystery in the world, all around us. We are so oblivious. God isn't.
The detail in a dragonfly's design. The tiny strands of thread that make up a piece of clothing. The invisible waves of sound. The human body alone is such an incredible illustration of his attention to detail, not to mention every animal, plant, and the perfect way the solar system is set up!

I have been learning lately how to enjoy things just for the sake of enjoying them, because God made them. I'm trying to just be and not worry about things I don't have any control over. I want Jesus to be my everything, and I know he is enough. The fact that he sees all of my flaws and still loves me is pretty amazing and a good enough reason in itself to be wholly his! I believe he loves the little quirky things in all of us. He put them there. Like the fact that i'm collecting peach pits? How about an over-obession with old things? Or a secret admiration for cowboys? It's things like these (but not these, because i just told you…(haha) that only God knows, and only he needs to know. I'm realizing that he is enough, and it's so freeing- he is my savior and my deliverer.

Look for detail today. And enjoy his creation. Oh, also- be quirky :)

thanks for reading.

-J

2010-07-31T23:25:00.000-07:00

Here are some words of wisdom I received recently from people I highly admire and respect. Maybe you will be inspired and enlightened as well. Enjoy.

"When you're creative, you're experiencing what God made you to be."- J.E.

"Doing one thing a week working toward your dream or goal gives you 52 things in one year."- C.C.

"It's our job to see the beauty in others and make it known to them."- M.W.

"The gift of love is to the receiver; the power of love is to the giver."- M.W.

"God uses people- the enemy does, too."- M.R.

"Don't confuse motion with action."- M.R.

"The good thing about mistakes is that God can use them- when we step out."- M.R.

"God wants to bless you, but he can't 'find' you because you're trying to be someone else."- unknown

p.s.
lots of life has happened lately.
God continues to be good.
He always will be, you know.

-J

Essential Gear for the Daring Girl

2010-07-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

So I pulled out my Daring Book for Girls book the other night and was reminded of how wonderful being a girl (and a daring girl at that) is and can be. But, I realized that there are some things I don't possess that I need to, in order to be a true adventurer. I thought you might benefit from this information as well.

Here is the list of "Essential Gear" according to the book:

1. Swiss Army Knife. Yeah, definitely need to get one of these ASAP.

2. Bandana check!

3. Rope and Twine Twine, check! I need to find a good old rope though.

4. Journal and Pencil- with a back-up Pen check and check!

5. Hair band duh.

6. Bungee cord mmm can't say I own my own bungee cord…

7. Flashlight check!

8. Compass definitely need to get one of these. this will also benefit me as a pirate.

9. Safety Pins always hanging around, but never seem to be around when you need one.

10. Duct Tape should probably keep a stash of this under my bed...

11. Deck of cards and a good Book have these in excess!

12. Patience good grief. lay it on me, please!

I feel so inspired to go exploring. Adventure is always there if we are willing to seek it out.
Have you been on any expeditions lately? Found treasure of any sort recently? Discovered something new or fascinating today?

If so, tell me all about it!

-J

here's a shout out to my wonderful Sister who just started her blog. Go check it out and comment to let her know you visited! Don't forget to follow her blog, as well. I know it will be a good read! :)
www.mysoulsurvivor.blogspot.com

Oh, goodness. Life.

2010-07-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

As you've probably noticed, I changed the blog look a little bit… i like to mix things up every so often. Keep it exciting, you know?

Lately, I've just been really melancholy. I kind of hate that word, and certainly don't like it when it's referring to me.

How about, instead of writing a bunch of things that will sound good and get nice comments, I'll just be honest about life. Is that okay?

I'm not satisfied with how i'm living. I don't spend enough time with Jesus. I am not seeking him with all that I am. I'm looking to others to fulfill me. I spend too much time on my computer. I feel like I suck at life. I know the truth. I need to make some changes. That scares me. I have lots of hopes and dreams that truly deep down I don't think will ever happen. That scares me. And thinking that they might really happen scares me, too.

I know the truth, and I know what I need and for that I am grateful. I must ask for courage and wisdom. And seek the one who knows me best.

Thanks for reading.

Also, if you ever want to totally make my day… send me a hand-written letter.
My dear kindred spirit, Annah Beth sent me one today and I love her ever so much for the gesture.

-J

Today.

2010-07-04T06:12:00.000-07:00

Today is good.
Today I will stand as a witness to one of the most beautiful things God made.
Today the beloved brother of mine, becomes a beloved husband to a beloved friend, who becomes a beloved sister! :)
Today the name of the Lord will be lifted high.
Today will be lovely, no matter what the weather may be.
Today Satan will not be happy.
He will try to ruin the day. God is bigger, better, and wins.
Today Jesus will be glorified by the obedience and faithfulness of his people.
Today I will see so many people from so many places. weird.
Today I will pray, trust, and hope.
Today a commitment will be made that will never be broken.

Today is good.

it's nice to know...

2010-06-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

Without going into detail about my life lately, I will tell you some things I was thinking about today, and undoubtedly other things too, which I wasn't thinking today. Or something. Moving on…

I have shared a lot on my blog about my thoughts and opinions on things, but I really haven't been too open when it comes to stuff that's really personal. And I haven't because I don't think it's healthy. For me or my readers. I feel likes it's too easy of an access into who I am, without knowing me well and personally. This post isn't really that insightful, but it touches on a deeper level. Hope you can relate and it encourages you in some way.

Maybe you have felt like this before and can relate to these worries. I often live through each day with a feeling of anxiety, or pressure to get certain things done, accomplish special tasks or move forward with the things I want to pursue. This isn't that bad of a thing, it's actually probably a good thing to help me be productive, and not lazy. But, I've realized that it's not just in everyday things like doing my laundry, working, sticking to a schedule etc… it's a whole life, all the time thing. Like stressing about the future, regretting not learning things when I was younger, wanting to be the perfect girl I wish I was…

Yeah. Not good stuff. It's good to have dreams, hopes and passions. And it's good not to be lazy. But there has to be a line in the middle. A place to be able to be content in where I am, what I am doing, and how I am living- but still be striving for more, and better, and seeking to grow in all areas of life.
I know that there is joy and peace in the salvation I have and I need to seek the giver of that to find it. Satan loves to have me just getting through each day feeling unsatisfied, unfulfilled, and longing for something more. And he's done too much damage already all around me. I cannot let him win this battle.
I've struggled with feelings of failure and inadequacy for as long as I can remember.

Today, the Lord gently reminded me that I don't have to worry. He is in control and I can trust him. I look back on the times when I really, fully relied on him for strength and wisdom- I haven't been let down. The scary part is really letting go. Giving him the pen to write my story. After all, who is better at writing stories than the author of life itself?

p.s. have i ever told you how much i love the thesaurus?

My Dad.

2010-06-21T08:25:00.000-07:00

My dad is incredible. I am so terribly blessed by this man and I don't really know how I got so lucky to have a father like him. He is simply the best.
He is a hard worker and has always provided for us, but never made work more important than family and encouraged the relationships within our family to be top priority, which makes the fact that my best friends ARE my family pretty neat.
He's always given us what we need, but never went overboard with spoiling, which I'm grateful for (though, when i was younger and Jessa had the pool, the sims game, the ferbie, the cable, and a bunch of pets… I may have felt a little differently ;)
We were spoiled with the fact that we traveled/travel a lot! His passion for seeing the world, became my passion as well. Some of our most memorable times have been on family vacations when he's herded us all over the world on long, incredible adventures.
I'm also thankful for his disciplinary action when we were growing up. Though again, I certainly did not appreciate or understand it then, I do now and know now how important that is. And along with the discipline came love and assurance. He did it the right way.
Though, I know reader that after reading all that, you must think him a superman by now (I didn't even get started! ;) but, I could not let you leave thinking he is what is he because of himself or anything he has accomplished. It is by Christ's sacrificial love and the grace of God that his life is what it is. And he would not want you thinking anything different! I am so thankful that my father made the choice to serve the Lord, not just using words but by deeds and actions. Because of that, I have seen Christ in him and know how better to serve the Lord, my personal savior.

Needless to say, I love him.
How will I ever find anyone who comes close?

featured writer and superb friend

2010-06-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

I have been blessed with not only a wonderful family, but dear friends who love Jesus and push me toward him more. I think that is what true fellowship is…what God intended 'the church" to be. People gathering together in his name, living life together, sharing joy and pain.
A particular friend of mine is Rachael Marie. Some may say the name Rachael is common. And some may spell it wrong- like Rachel. But for me, a girl who has the gift of friendship with Rachael knows that no other "Rachael" (or "Rachel" for that matter) is quite like this one. This one is beautiful, caring, and talented-just to mention a few of her remarkable virtues. She knows how to party, but can be for real serious when it's important. She looks awesome with photobooth effects and she drives a beast of a truck. Needless to say, we enjoy life , live out loud, and make lots of memories.
Here's a note that Rachael wrote recently on facebook that I loved and wanted to share with my blog readers. It encouraged me in more ways than one. I hope you enjoy and take something from it.
And if you read it all, there's a special photo gallery at the end ;) ha!

-j
p.s. STAY ON YO SIDE.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come, My child.
Let Me encourage your heart.
I know the wait is lonely.
I know the wait seems long.
I understand the ache. I desire to soothe the longing.
Let my words bring you comfort.
Let My words fill you with hope.

Come.
Refresh yourself in Me as you wait...

Hi. My name is Rachael. And I am waiting...
I'm not going to start this note off like every other note. I'm not going to tell you God has laid this on my heart or that I've been praying about this...I'm just going to share with you. And hope that something I say will encourage your heart is some way.

Waiting is agony sometimes...but everyone has to do it. Whether you're waiting to hear if you got the job, a part in a play, a scholarship to a college. Waiting for your grief of a loved one to be over, for a loved one to get well, for a prayer to be answered, for something meaningful in your life to happen, for someone to spend the rest of your life with, to have your baby, for your child to be healed, for your sickness to be over, for a friend to come to Christ. Everyone waits...and none of us like it.

Psalm 119:83-84
I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, exhausted with waiting. But I cling to your principles and obey them. How long must I wait?

We should not ask ourselves how long should I wait, but how should I wait. When you're waiting, life doesn't stop. It shouldn't. If you're waiting for a cast list you don't go sit in your bed room for 3 days straight until an email pops up or you get a call do you? No. You wake up, eat breakfast, go about your day. It's always on the back of your mind, but you don't stop living...
In the same way, no matter what you're waiting for, or who, or when, or why, don't stop your life. Enjoy it. God knows you're waiting...he knows you're hurting over it too.

Psalm 40:1,3
I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry...He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.

I feel like Satan tries to tell us God doesn't care. Like He forgot about us or something...and sometimes we're so weary, that we believe it. Satan doesn't give a care about you. Why the heck do we believe him? Blows my mind why almost everytime, I think he's right. There is no peace in that. Satan only cares about giving you what you want and having his way with you, God cares about giving you the best possible things in life. He loves you. So why would he abandon you?
Praise and contentment can get you through your waiting period...Satan can't stand it when we praise God even though we're not getting our way. So even when you lay on your bedroom floor and sob and ask God why...remember to get up and praise him because He loves you so. If you give whatever you are waiting for to God and continue to praise Him no matter what. Nothing and no one will be able to hinder God from giving it to you in time. In God's time...not our time.

Look....I know I sound like I completely believe this with all my heart and it's no struggle for me. But the only reason I'm writing this is because this IS my struggle. Everyday of my life...no joke. I still don't have this down, I still don't understand, somedays I still don't believe. But I know it's truth...and I know that God loves me. Therefore I do my best to praise Him. To thank Him. To love Him. To live life in the now as best I can...and to wait...because we all have to do it...

Thanks for reading this, I hope in some way you were encouraged. I love you all =]

~Rachael
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's to many more years and silly photographs…

i luff you rachael marie!

blue, a little.

2010-06-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

Faces all around,
room full of sound.
   But I feel a little lonely.
Busy bodies everywhere,
Do any of them really care?
   I still feel a little lonely.
'Great job', 'good work.'
Words, words, words.
   I still feel a little lonely.
Hundreds of eyes,
a loud applause.
   But I still feel a little lonely.
Eyes meet, hands touch-
the last dance is danced.
   I'm not so lonely anymore.
Glances come, we don't care-
our world is complete again.
   I'm home, and lonely is gone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a piece I did for a creative challenge given by a Vicki of 'Simply Hue'
Not completely in love with it. Did it pretty fast and didn't put much into it. It's kind of messy and thrown together. But I still like it and shall claim it as my work :)

Would love to hear thoughts on either piece!

Question of the post: (caution: it's a tough one…)

Favorite disney pixar film?

I don't think I could even answer this one… *sigh*

-J

2010-06-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

Some things just aren't meant to be I guess.

Short post- good song describing life as of late.

You are my sunshine.

2010-06-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos of my sweet cousin, Mason from a while back. We had a fun time in the back yard swinging, counting, sliding and being all around silly :)

"5,4,3,2,8,9,10…"

"my hands are dirty"

favorite. just saying.

couldn't resist.

Isn't he incredible?

the life of a cloud.

2010-06-01T22:17:00.000-07:00

The voluminous shapes in excess
filling the sky with dimension.
I wonder what happens when they touch?
Do they mesh into one and change course,
or are they on their own, just passing through?

The plush pillows are changing, constantly rearranging.
Light is streaming through them now-
leaking out around the edges,
illuminating and defining- lining them with silver,
transforming them into glassy pools; pure reflections in the glow of the sun.

How nice it would be- to have the life of a cloud.
To just hang up there in the pale vastness; to enjoy the view-
watch the cars pass by below,
the birds take flight, and see
the bright city lights.

How easy it must be- to have the life of a cloud.
To never worry about saying the wrong thing
or making the same mistake over and over again.
To be free from fear and feeling, pain and people;
just breeze through the days in the warm, open sky.

But would it ever get old- to have the life of a cloud?
Only able to watch all the action down below.
Would it be worth sacrificing love with the pain,
joy with the sorrow, and hope with the fear?
Is just existing enough- dancing through life with no real purpose or meaning?

I guess the life of a cloud is no life at all.
Isn't it strange that we realize how good something is-
only after we've lost it- or wished it away?
Reality is calling, real adventure is with it-
so take me back down, I don't want to miss it.

Thoughts?

I wish I didn't have to make all those mistakes and be wise...

2010-05-25T23:05:00.000-07:00

…name that song!

Life is a gift. Don't waste it, or fake it.

Too often I find myself just coasting through the day, totally unaware of the beauty all around me. When you take a minute to look around, and soak up your surroundings, you might be surprised with what you see. I also take for granted my situation in life way too often… as in all the time. I think the saying "You don't know what you got til it's gone" is very true, i might add "you don't know what you got 'til you get shaken up a bit…"

Unfortunately, even after these revelations come and slap me in the face, I eventually slowly slip back into complacency. Ugh, no. I want to remember all that I've learned. Sometimes being human is just plain maddening. Do you ever feel that way?

The good news is that I am learning, growing and being molded into who I was made to be- not by me or anything by my power, but by the one who made me and knows me better than I know myself. He alone is writing my story, which is great because he is a best-selling author. Yesss.

Question of the post: What is your favorite piece of classic literature?

-J

best.

2010-05-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's day to a woman whose constant love, willing forgiveness, and sacrificial life has showed me what motherhood, wifehood, and womanhood is all about.
The one person I can share anything with, knowing I won't be judged no matter how silly the issue is, the one I love to live life with and find humor in everyday things with, the one who is my number one fan and encourager, no matter what the venture or project.
I am who I am because of you.
Thank you Mom- for being the best.
I love you.

-J

oh, life.

2010-04-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else ever feel too tired to live the rest of their life?
Sometimes, I just feel exhausted when I think about the future.
Usually, I look forward to the adventure and the unknown that is bound to come.
But some days I just don't know if I can make it. And the truth is, I can't… not on my own.
I am so unworthy of the grace and mercy that's handed to me every day.
It's truly a gift. No matter how many times I run and come back, he is still there with open arms,
hoping that I will jump into them once again.
He is hoping, waiting, and ready with a plan more amazing than anything I could dream up.
And that is reason enough to look forward to the rest of life, this adventure I find myself in.

-J

loving this song lately…

Worry not.

2010-04-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

You know, I think that what the Bible says is true. And we really should believe it. How often do we forget these simple instructions Jesus gives us. Especially the ones that are for our own good. See I'm even coming at this from a selfish point of view, and taking Jesus' words seriously still turns out being the only right way.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phil. 4:4-7

Worry.

Anxiety.

Fear.

…have been my downfall as of late. About life, about friendships, about the future. You know how it goes. But, why, why, why should I stress about these things when I am in (or have the choice to be) in a daily constant relationship with the God of the universe!? Seriously, Jami? He not only knows my fears, but he also knows what is best for me. Now that is a God worth trusting.

Starting here, I'm going to attempt to not get so caught up in my own little world and shallow viewpoint and start giving my cares and burdens and worries to him, trusting he is in control.

It's really rather freeing. And what more could I ask for, than freedom!

Around the corner...

2010-04-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate the way life works.

I mean…I love life. I love the excitement of not knowing what is going to happen.
I love the adventure it throws into the routine and normalcy of everydayness…
but I hate the fact that I emote after something is over or when something changes.
You'd think I would have it down by now... I wish I could turn off my feelings for a few days while things get back in order after weeks of constant relationship and routine. I know things are already starting to be back to normal again but I kind of hate that, too. I know I can never go back, never relive those exact experiences- which I guess is why it makes them so special and so memorable. See, it makes sense the way it all works. But that doesn't mean that it's easy.
I am once again reminded of the good Lord's faithfulness. People will disappoint, times will always change. But he is I AM always and forever and that gives me hope for what's around the next corner.

On a lighter note… I've been so into records since I got my player set up. It's pretty much all I listen to these days… i-pods are so overrated…ha. just kidding. I have been having many a solo dance party… Care to join me?

-J

Erin Elizabeth ruby red lips Maude Niles took this photo. looove her.

So this new guy came to town...

2010-04-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

… we were pretty troubled.

photo credit: Suzanne Ryan

the Music Man at MNU this weekend (April 8-10- 7:30 p.m.) If you live around here and enjoy a good musical, come on out!